A New Verse

Happy New Year!

If you're like me, by the end of the year you're tired, worn out, and in need of some renewal and a fresh start.  All the holiday hoopla is over and you're facing a new year.  Will it really be any different from the previous 365 days?  Or will it be a 'same verse, different tune' kind of thing?  Maybe you make resolutions and keep them, then measure your success and celebrate.  Or perhaps your good intentions crash and burn before you've even finished the left over black-eyed peas and collard greens.

As for me - I don't just want 2016 to be different; I need it to be different.  More importantly, I sense God telling me it is His will for it to be different.  My husband feels the same way.  A year from now we don't want to take stock of our lives and find we are in pretty much the same place - stagnant and full of 'what-ifs,' regretting all that we did NOT do. Instead, we want to have stepped out in faith, into the abundant life that God has promised us. But where do we start?  How do we get there from here?

The Mini Marriage Retreat!

While it would be nice to participate in an organized, planned and targeted retreat, or even to drop our son off at a grandparent's house and run to the coast for a winter getaway by the ocean to plan our coming year, our budget doesn't allow for that at this time.  (We know friends who've enjoyed structured marriage conferences, and others who've conducted their own marriage retreats/planning getaways; we highly recommend either when they are realistic options.)  But time away from home wasn't possible for us, so we borrowed from our friends' plans, then added a dash of our own styles and personalities to create a meaningful time together that did not require leaving town, or our own living room for that matter.

Here's a peek into our personalized retreat in the week leading up to New Year's Eve:

• In our own time and our own way, we each took a few days to pray and think about our lives as individuals, as a couple, and as parents.  Separately we asked God to show us what He wanted us to take away from 2015, as well as what He wants us to take into 2016.  This time included some serious introspection and brutal honesty with God and ourselves - not necessarily fun, but always productive. 
• After several days of meeting with God individually it was time to put Toby to bed, then put pen to paper.  We turned off all electronics and prayed together.  Without discussing anything, we spent the next hour or so writing 3-5 specific goals in each of the following categories:  Personal, Work, Marriage, Family and Finance.  
• The next day Little Man got to spend an entire day playing with a friend while Collins and I enjoyed some time to ourselves.  We cooked brunch, drank coffee, talked, enjoyed uninterrupted, individual quiet times, prayed together, ran errands, and put the finishing touches on our goals from the previous night.  
• We picked up Toby, then had dinner and some family play time.  Once little man was fast asleep, we turned on the Christmas lights, diffused some relaxing essential oils, turned off all electronics and settled in for some quality time together. We devoted the remainder of the evening to sharing our goals in each category, discussing what we had each written and coming to an agreement on common goals for the Marriage, Family and Finance categories.  We also determined ways we could support and encourage each other in our respective Personal and Work goals.  Be assured that not all of our conversation was easy and free-flowing, as this kind of soul-searching opens the door for God to reveal some unpleasant things that must be addressed.  We incorporated a couple of breaks into the evening for times when things got heavy and even uncomfortable (stepping outside and taking a few deep breaths under a starry sky does wonders for your attitude and perspective!).

In a week's time we invested significantly in our personal walks with the Lord, in our marriage and in our family - a mini marriage retreat in the comfort of our own home.  (Let it be noted, however, that when we are able to have a true, out-of-town escape, you'll find me on the beach squishing some cold sand between my toes - it makes those difficult discussions a little less painful!)  

I'm positive that I speak for both Collins and myself when I say it was time well-spent and one of the best things we've ever done for our relationship.  I also feel safe in saying it was the inaugural year of a rich, new tradition!

Perhaps the crowning moment of our in-home marriage building was asking God to lead us to scripture that spoke to both of our hearts about where we currently are in our journey with Him.  We prayed for a passage to ponder and a verse we will memorize and meditate on daily in the new year.  He delivered...  

Let us not become weary in doing good, 

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest 

if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9
(Galatians 6:1-10)