I Saw God Today

"None so deaf as those that will not hear, none so blind as those that will not see."

Matthew Henry

A young woman is drowning in more than $30,000 in consumer debt because she was an easy target for credit card companies while she was in college.  No one warned her of the dangers of spending borrowed money.  In her late 20's she nearly lost her home, her car, and all her worldly possessions trying to figure out how to pay it back.  A biblical financial principals Bible study, several good friends with money sense, and ten shredded credit cards later she entered into a 10-15 year debt repayment plan.  Angry and depressed, but determined to get out of her financial shackles, she tithed (even when it meant she didn't know how she would pay the power bill) and put every extra penny she had toward shrinking the bottom line. Somehow, none of the bills ever went unpaid.  About three years in, checks started showing up in her mailbox - sometimes just random cashiers checks of various amounts with no identifying marks, sometimes she had overpaid an account, the rules of her student loan changed and she was refunded five years of payments.  From every lucky windfall she gave to God, gave to others, put some in savings and applied the rest to her outstanding debt.  Six years later (not the projected 10-15) she was debt free.

 She gave to God, gave to others...

An anonymous donor paid for the thirty-something woman to go on her first foreign mission trip. Overwhelmed with gratitude she boarded a plane for an experience that would alter the course of her life.  Arriving home from her trip she vowed that she would return the following year, though she had no idea how.  Money was tight and even the most frugal year wouldn't yield enough savings to pay for another trip.  In faith she stepped out on a limb and paid the next year's deposit, trusting God to provide the rest if it was in His will for her to return.  The deadline to pay the balance loomed and she was losing hope.  She wore out her knees praying, reminding God that He, Himself, had spoken to her, promising her she would go back. A few days later some friends invited her to dinner.  After an enjoyable meal and plenty of small talk, the couple handed her an envelope and said they wanted to help her with the cost of her trip.  The young woman was grateful for any amount, but knew she'd be giving the check back to them shortly because, without any other assistance, the trip would not be a reality that year.  Stepping into her front door she paused to open the envelope and, sliding the check out, fell to her knees. It was the exact amount she needed to cover the remaining cost of the trip. 

 She wore out her knees praying... 

A middle-aged woman wanted nothing more than to be married and have a family.  It was a longing that took root in her heart when she was a teenager.  She dreamed about her Knight in Shining Armor; the years rolled by, but he never came. Several Mr. Wrongs and one Mr. Very Wrong came and went, but the ache in her heart lingered.  She wrote in her journal, hot tears soaking the page and, in places, fading the fresh ink, that she was finished. She cried out to God asking why she was being punished (a rhetorical question because in her mind she knew that this was just retribution for the relationship sins of her past), and accepted her sentence of lifelong loneliness.  She made a list that day; a nit-picky, ridiculously detailed, and tauntingly specific list of her requirements in a man.  Almost challenging God, she declared that her track record proved that she was unfit to choose a man, so it was up to Him to provide; and the way she would know this man were he ever to show up is that every single one of her pre-requisites would be met.  Thirteen years later God would deliver, but not in any way she ever dreamed or imagined.  As she tried to distance herself from the man of God's choosing, she found the list, and in near disbelief she checked off the bullet points, one by one, until there were none left.  Her Knight had arrived.

She cried out to God...

Coincidence has been defined as "a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection." It was just random timing that checks began to come in the mail and money rolled in unexpectedly cutting my debt repayment time in half. I had never mentioned to my friends the amount I needed to pay for my trip; they must have pulled a lucky number out of a hat (not unlike choosing lottery numbers) and beaten the odds.  The specific qualities and characteristics of a husband I penned more than a decade before the man would enter my life were general enough that they could apply to anyone. And in this manner, friends, family and strangers alike have all tried to explain away the miracles of my life.

Yes, those are my stories (just a few of them, there's plenty more where those came from). Huge coincidences?  I think not.  If you look closely, the events and circumstances of my life are not without a causal connection as the definition would suggest. I tithed, I wore out my knees praying, and I cried out to God - I gave God reason to respond to me.  But don't be too quick to praise me or give me too much credit, because I also did my fair share of blaming God for the messes I made.  What the causal connection reveals more than anything is His faithfulness and His good plan for my life.  Not a plan without pain, but one in which the cries of the believer in the midst of trials are heard.  Proof of miracles, not coincidences.
  

"Lord, you are my God;

I will exalt you and praise your name,

for in perfect faithfulness

you have done wonderful things,

things planned long ago."

Isaiah 25:1

Albert Einstein is credited with having said, "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous."  I must beg to differ.  God leaves His fingerprints everywhere.  Ink-doused, fresh off the paper, totally and undeniably unique fingerprints.  If our fingerprints identify us, and no two prints have ever been found to be the same, not even identical twins, I think it's pretty safe to say that God is anything but anonymous. 

In contrast to Einstein's musings, I prefer the words of another great philosopher, George Strait.  In the lyrics of I Saw God Today the "King of Country" offers up a profound truth regarding the "King of Kings":

I've been to church
I've read the book
I know He's here, but I don't look
Near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
If I'd just slow down to stop and stare
Opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today

Where did you see God today?
Dust for His fingerprints; you'll find them - I promise!

Sweet, Sensitive Spirit

Yesterday wasn't an easy day for me and my little man.  

First, daddy is traveling.  We understand and accept that travel season is a necessary evil, but that doesn't mean we have to like it.  I don't sleep when he is not here.  Little man, at the age of two and some months, totally gets it now that the duffle bag and/or the small, red suitcase mean his hero won't be coming home from work at his usual time every afternoon.  So we both began our day missing the main man in our lives. 

Second, it was a cold and rainy day.  Cold is fine; that's what jackets and mittens are made for.  Rainy is fine - when it's not cold.  But the combination of the two is this toddler's nightmare because it equals being stuck inside all day - and dude needs his outside time.  There are only so many pages in the Mickey Mouse coloring book to be scribbled on and a finite number of times I can read the same books over and over.  The Fisher Price Little People can sail in the ark, fly in the airplane, hover in the helicopter, or take a ride in the school bus, but all of those voyages get boring when the scenery never changes.  Play-Doh is not our friend when it becomes an afternoon snack (no, ours isn't homemade, not that it's any better for eating). And tents, puzzles, drawing pads, and trucks lose their appeal after so many hours.

Third, mommy's patience ran out around 5:00.  Missing my man, preparing for a trip that will take me away from my guys for a week (an emotional time bomb), and dealing with constant whining that is the plight of a two year old without the benefit of outdoor activity did me in.  The hours of 5-8 p.m. were probably some of my most shining moments of how NOT to be a good mother.  Everybody, including the stuffed animals and the Fisher Price Little People, was crying at some point during those hours.

Finally it was bedtime...yay!  Pj's on, teeth brushed, and little man crawls into my lap for his bedtime story from the Jesus Storybook Bible, jabbering away about where daddy is and whether or not he is sleeping in his office.  When it's time to pray he lays his head on my chest and nestles into the crook of my arm like a little baby and closes his eyes, grinning because he knows good and well that he won't keep them closed.  "Dear Jesus," we say together.  I go on to pray and dude occasionally chimes in with things God may or may not actually need to know.  Then I ask God to forgive mommy for losing her patience in so many ways earlier in the day.  I tell God and Toby I'm sorry and that I hope they can both forgive me.  At that moment I feel little man's body jerk; I open my eyes and look down to see his eyes tightly closed, his bottom lip rolled out and quivering, and a tiny little puddle of tear in the corner of his eye.  My initial thought was, "Oh my gosh, he's reacting to me saying I'm sorry and asking forgiveness," but then I thought, "He's only two; that's not possible.  He doesn't understand what I'm saying."  So I asked him what was wrong and if he was OK.  The tear puddle spilled over as he threw his arms around my neck, put his face cheek-to-cheek with mine and squeezed as hard as he could saying, "Oh, mommy, I stoddy mommy. I'm ud dyu mommy!" (Toddler translation - I'm sorry, I love you.) 

My tears gushed as I realized that his sweet, sensitive little spirit understood exactly what I was saying.  I asked him again to forgive me and told him I was sorry as his grip tightened around my neck.  In his own way he was telling me it's alright mommy; we both had a hard day. We finished our prayer and said 'Amen,' but I couldn't bring myself to put him in the bed.  So I sat there.  He snuggled back down into my arm, head on my chest, and within a few minutes was fast asleep.  I've been humbled.  And I get it.

If only we all felt each other's pain this way and forgave and loved this easily and freely...
Lord, help me to do just that.

Matthew 19:14