McKensie

One year ago today she blew into our lives like a breath of fresh air.  Our campus pastor introduced us on a Sunday after worship.  A week later we met for lunch.  And the rest, as they say, is history.

Collins and I were looking for ways to get more involved with the new church we were settling into, so we signed up for the Adopt-A-Student program that pairs local college students with church families.  She was returning from a semester and interim abroad and was looking for a family and a place to be her home away from home.  We were matched 'randomly' (like anything the Holy Spirit does is ever random).

It took less than ten minutes of conversation to realize that she could appreciate my husband's brand of humor, that she was the perfect big sister for my little man, and that she and I were kindred spirits in ways that only God could orchestrate.  Just like that she was part of our family, filling a space we didn't know was there until she was situated into it.  She fit so seamlessly and so easily it was like she'd always been here.

Over the past year she and Collins have reveled in their mutual appreciation for American cultural eccentricities.  His love of sports has rubbed off on her to the point that it was him she texted at 11 p.m. one night back in July to report that she had just spent time on the treadmill next to Michael Oher and had chatted with him as though they'd known each other forever.  She's taught him the finer points of being 'granola.'  He playfully abuses her for being vegan, and she laughs at his worst jokes.

She and I have shared a million laughs and tears.  We've over-analyzed ourselves, each other, and the world around us.  We've prayed and studied Scripture together.  We've come to understand that we can be exactly alike in some ways, yet polar opposites in others.  We both love the Spanish language.  She's weathered my passionate tirades over injustice and she humors me with texts and phone calls when she's traveling alone so I won't worry.  I've helped her navigate the pitfalls of busyness and learn the value of managing her schedule so it doesn't manage her.  I ask her hard questions and she asks them right back.  She keeps food in my freezer and helps herself to my kitchen.  I don't worry about straightening the house or changing out of my pj's when she's coming over.

Together Collins and I have properly indoctrinated her with our love of Les Miserables.  And, courtesy of our excellent instruction, she plays a mean round of 'Hand & Foot.'  She's crashed on our couch and traveled with us too.  She's been our house sitter and texted pictures of a snake in our yard that she refused to remove.  Collins and I have demonstrated for her regularly how to have heated discussions on everything from sports to religion to finances to academics.  We've been nosy and intruded on pretty much every area of her life, yet she invites us in, making herself an open book.  

While Collins and I have both enjoyed and reaped the benefits of having her as our 'adopted' daughter, in our estimation the most important relationship she has with anyone in our family is the one she has forged with our son.  When we met her little man was just over 18 months old and very attached to us, crying at even the shortest separation.  But not with her. She made such a point to be attentive to him at our first lunch that he hugged her and wanted her to carry him out of the restaurant that day.  Toby is a priority to her every time she is in our home and she purposely focuses some of her of attention on him.  She's not above getting down in the dirt to play with him as well as patiently reading a seemingly endless number of books to him.  Every time we pass her dorm when we are on the Wofford campus he never fails to point it out stating that's her house.  He can't stop asking when she's going to arrive if he knows she's coming, and he won't stop questioning where she went and when she's coming back when she leaves.  She offers to babysit, not so much to give Collins and me some time away, but more so because she wants to be intentional in spending time with him.  His face lights up when he sees her at church as he runs to her with outstretched arms.  

In a few short months she will graduate and follow the next path that God has laid out for her.  We probably won't see her or talk to her as much as we are accustomed to and that will take some adjustment.  But she will forever be a part of our family.  God hand-picked her and delivered her into our lives at a time when we needed all that she had to offer.  I think she would say the same about us.  

It's hard to believe it has been a year, yet at the same time we can't really remember life without her.  But that's how it is with your children isn't it?  A child comes into your life whether by biological birth or adoption or any other means, and love consumes you so wholly and completely that you don't know how you survived without them and can't imagine a life from that moment on that doesn't include them.  

On the day you arrived our hearts were filled to overflowing and a missing piece of our lives fell into place.  We are forever changed for the better because you have been here.  We love you as though we were our own and we thank God for the gift of you, McKensie!

Bags for Birth Mothers

Today's post is a bit different from my regular posts in that it offers you a chance to come alongside me in a ministry that God laid on my heart almost three years ago; today the dream becomes a reality.  

Perhaps the best way to give you a glimpse into my heart is to share a piece entitled Birth Mother that I wrote and posted on my previous blog, on Little Man's adoption day in 2013.  Reading that post will help you to understand why this new ministry, "Bags for Birth Mothers," is such an important cause.

Below is your opportunity to join me.  I hope you will...

Bags for Birth Mothers

Dear Friends,

My husband and I are adoptive parents.  Our beautiful baby boy, born June 15, 2013, is now a rambunctious, curious and ridiculously handsome two year old toddler.  We know the pain of infertility and the emotional roller coaster that is the adoption process.  But through it all, God moved me beyond myself and has given me a deep empathy for and sensitivity to birth mothers. Our birth mother is a special young woman who made a brave decision; she chose life and an adoption plan for her unborn baby. Her choice directly affected our lives, giving us an incredible gift for which I am eternally grateful.

For women whose paths to motherhood are similar to mine, the moment we become adoptive mothers is one of the happiest moments of our lives, yet also profoundly sad.  We leave the hospital carrying a newborn who is the answer to countless prayers.  Birth mothers depart empty-handed, facing days of doubting and wrestling with their decision, and perhaps being judged and criticized for allowing other families to parent their children.  God has laid it on my heart to minister to birth mothers, putting something in their hands that lets them know they are not forgotten, and that both their courage as well as their pain and grief do not go unnoticed.

I would like to offer you an opportunity to join me in this ministry.  Click this link, Bags for Birth Mothers, to shop my "Bags for Birth Mothers Thirty-One Party."  Place an order for one or more Zipper Pouches (cost is only $18 including shipping, tax, and Thirty-One Gives Round-Up for Item #3045 - any pattern) and I will donate my commission as a Thirty-One Independent Consultant to fill the bags with items that will minister to the physical and emotional needs of a birth mother.  (You may contact me directly to place your order, or if you wish to order additional items). My goal is 50 Zipper Pouches.  I am currently working with the adoption counselors to determine how to appropriately fill the bags.  When the bags arrive and have been filled, I will follow up with those who have participated, providing you with photos of the bags and their contents.  I will be donating the bags to the Law Office of James F. Thompson, Adoption Attorney, whose adoption counselors will present them to the birth mothers they have counseled and befriended as they are discharged from the hospital and the adoption placement is complete.

Birth mothers deserve to know that they are loved as unconditionally as they love their babies and as Christ loves them.  Help me demonstrate this love.

A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege is not lost on me.
Jody Landers